COUPLES & RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING

I don't have a rigid curriculum for everyone who comes to me for help, because every couple comes to therapy with unique circumstances and needs. I do, however, have a fairly consistent approach to the overall process. In general, this is what you can expect from a "course" of couples therapy.

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Assessment and establishing goals

Ideally we meet at least weekly during this initial period in order to establish a strong foundation for your work.

• Session 1: Relationship history and discussion of therapy goals

• Session 2: Focus on partner A's relevant history (typically one-on-one with just one partner)

• Session 3: Focus on partner B's relevant history (typically one-on-one with the other partner)

• Session 4: Go over "Sound Relationship House" model and discuss which elements of the relationship to focus on in subsequent sessions

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Initial Treatment

Ideally we continue to meet weekly, at least for the first part of this period. This phase continues until you start to experience improvements.

• Sessions 5-?: Learn and practice skills related to those elements of the "Sound Relationship House" most in need of support. The primary focus of these sessions is on dialog with one another. With some exceptions, you'll be practicing new skills with one another in the here-and-now, with your therapist acting as a supportive coach helping you show up to the interaction in a new way.

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Strengthening and Integrating

At some point, typically around 2-6 months after starting therapy, I will likely recommend that you drop back to biweekly sessions. I make this recommendation when it appears you have developed the skills you need to achieve your therapy goals. At this point, you are strengthening those abilities and integrating them more fully into your life outside of therapy.

• Here the primary focus is still typically on the two of you turning toward one another and practicing skillful ways of engaging with one another in the here-and-now, with me jumping in as-needed to help you.

• Some couples choose to continue in this phase of therapy for many years.

• For people who haven't had good experiences in individual therapy, this phase of couples therapy can be an effective setting to address the issues they've struggled to find help with in individual therapy.

• This period can last from a few months to several years, depending on your needs and preferences. If your goal is to conclude therapy as quickly as possible, it is likely you'll be ready to do that after somewhere between four months and a year, depending, of course, on your unique circumstances.

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Closing session

Reflect on what happened in therapy and commit to a plan to maintain and build on the relationship's strengths.

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Follow-up

Some research suggests that the best outcomes occur when relationship therapy is front loaded with more frequent sessions at first (weekly) and then tapers off over time (biweekly, and then eventually as-needed). After concluding a course of regular weekly and then biweekly sessions, it may be helpful to come back periodically to check in and refresh your relationship skills.